Interviews: Dating for Job Seekers?
By Tag and Catherine Goulet
He called, and you agreed to get together to see if you would
hit it off. After some small talk, you started getting to know
each other. You felt you were really making a connection. By
the end of your time together you thought he felt the same way.
After all, he did say those three little words you'd been
longing to hear... "I'll call you."
But it's been a week since you got together
and you still haven't heard from him. You've asked your
colleagues: "Have you heard from him?" "Did he ask you anything
about me?" but the answer is no.
You tell yourself he must be busy and if you just wait a bit
longer, he'll call. Or maybe he lost your phone number...
Face it -- he's just not that into you.
He's Just Not That Into You is the title of a popular
dating book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, but some of its
advice can also apply to job-hunting.
If an employer is into you, he (and of course this applies to
female interviewers as well) treats you with respect. He does
what he says he will, including calling when he agreed to call,
because he knows there's a distinct possibility that he could
Here are some of the things that an interviewer who is into
you is likely to do:
He starts the interview on time or apologizes if it starts
late. He recognizes that your time is valuable.
During the interview he asks you about yourself and lets
you do most of the talking because he wants to know as much
as possible about you.
He doesn't criticize or belittle you, your education or
your experience. You don't feel like you're on the
He doesn't cut the interview short, but wants to spend as
much time as possible with you.
He doesn't allow interruptions. If the phone rings, he lets
it go to voice mail.
At the end of the interview, he tells you a specific time
that he'll call.
He calls your references to ask about you.
And the ultimate sign that the employer is into you: he
calls when he said he would to offer you a job at the
salary you want.
If an employer is not into you, he:
Starts the interview late without an apology.
Spends most of the time talking about himself, the job or
the company instead of trying to learn about you.
Doesn't listen when you are talking.
Allows interruptions, takes phone calls or checks his
Forgets your name.
Eats lunch without offering you any, flosses his teeth or
otherwise acts as if you're not there.
Ends the interview quickly.
Is vague about when or if he'll call.
Of course, interviewing isn't entirely like dating. There
are times that an employer who really is into someone can't
offer them a job. For example, if the company has a massive
downsizing between when you were interviewed and when the
employer was supposed to call.
Furthermore, as the job seeker, you should do more than
just wait for the employer to contact you. Send a thank-you
note within 24 hours, then follow up if you haven't heard
anything by the date the interviewer promised to
However, if the interviewer hasn't called you when he said
he would, don't get your hopes up. Chances are he's just
not that into you. But if he doesn't respect you or treat
you well, we hope you're not that into him either.
Tag and Catherine Goulet, "The Breaking In Experts,"
are co-CEOs of FabJob.com, a leading publisher of career
guides offering step-by-step advice for breaking into a
variety of dream careers. Visit www.FabJob.com.
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